So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
