Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
