He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i was born a porn star she said
My cat gives me a boner
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
