I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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