Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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