When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
