my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
this boner is exhausting
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
