I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
