Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
