It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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