I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We need to get me chipped asap
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
