I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
