I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This baby is an asshole
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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