I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
