Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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