I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I supernannyed him into submission
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
