how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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