My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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