I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
