I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
