Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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