what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize