haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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