Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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