So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
