By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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