Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize