She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
