i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
