I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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