you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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