I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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