it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
