He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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