they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
