im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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