I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
