Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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