we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
