she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
