We won't sleep together?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
