cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
