I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
There r osticjed everywhere
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
