didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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