Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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