I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
