Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
