So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
