you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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