too bad you live with your parents still
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
