Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
