At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize