Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
