brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
im six kinds of drunk right now
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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