Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
