What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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