I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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