Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My balls are so social today.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
